To Be? Or Not To Be?

A lot of times I just feel like I can do anything very well. I mean, don't get me wrong, yes I am talented, but I'm no master of any of those talents. I feel more like a jack-of-all-trades. I can do a bit everything decently, or even good, but not great.

Like musically for example. I can play the piano, some guitar, a little trumpet and drums and a tiny little bit of violin. But I'm not super good and any of them. Piano is probably my best, but I don't even compare to most of my friends.

I guess that's what it all boils down too. I never feel like I can compare to anyone else. I can't play the piano as good as Sara. I can't dance like Amber. I can't play my guitar like Austin and Matt. I can't write like Cheri and Sara. I can't draw like Holly. I can't sing like Steph.

It just seems that everything I do, I can never be "best" at. Or even close to it.

People have told me that I can be 'jealous', but that's not really it. I don't get jealous, but being the uber perfectionist I am, I just compare myself to other people and feel lacking.

But Jesus told me something once. He said that no matter what I did, even if it was only slightly good, as long as I put my heart into it, that was all that mattered. I may never be famous for any of the songs I write, but for ever single one I have written, I've poured my whole self into it. All my emotion-all the talent that I posses has gone into them.

That's how Jesus measures. Not to the ability that someone else can do, but to what you can do. If all you know how to draw is a cat, then you draw that cat. For Jesus. And it'll make him smile. That's more beautiful to him than da Vinci's Mona Lisa.

So no, I can't play like Sara or Wendy. And I'm nowhere near as good at art as Hannah. But there is one thing I can be best at.

Being me.

And in being me, I'll do everything I can. To the very best that I can. Because that is what matters to Jesus.