Blindsided By Jesus... Again

Ok, so the other night I was talking to Jesus, the conversation goes something like as what follows:

Me- Good evening Jesus (I didn't want to say good night so... lol)

Jesus- Good morning.

Me- Good morning?!

Jesus- Well, where I am it's morning.

Me- Aren't you here with me??

Jesus- Yes I suppose I am, so I guess it is 'Good evening'... I could make it morning though! (He totally sounded like a little kid asking for candy, lol)

Me- No, that's okay, I'd be a grouch all day long...

Jesus- Oh. Ok...

*laughing*

Me- Anyways, I missed you.

Jesus- Why'd you miss me? I was with you all day long.

Me- Yah, I guess so, but I mean like right now, just you and me talking so easily. But I guess it could be like that all day long. No, it SHOULD be. Oh, I'm sorry Jesus, I'm not trying hard enough. I'll try and do better. I'm really sorry-

Jesus- Shhhh. It's okay, you don't need to be sorry- I'm not expecting you to be perfect.

That's when it hit me. Those seven little words slammed into me like a Mack truck. "I'm not expecting you to be perfect".

I can't even begin to explain the freedom in those seven words.

I've always struggled with pride. Not the 'I'm better than you' type of pride, but the pride that won't let me forgive myself or even let myself mess up. It's terrible, I know, but It's one of those "thorns of the flesh" that Paul talks about.
This one happens to be mine.

That's why that one sentence just dripped with life. "I'm not expecting you to be perfect". So much more was spoken behind it, things I can hardly put into words.

I'm not going to explain a lot here, I'm not even going to tell you much of what it meant to me. Other than freedom. Usually I like to explain the things Jesus shows me, but this time Jesus told me not too. I don't even think I have the words to articulate what I feel. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, I just hope that whoever happens to read this, whoever you are, that Jesus would speak to you through it.


Love you all :)
~Julia