Dilapidated and weather-worn, an aged swing-set sat lifelessly in the center of a tattered yard. The passing years left their mark. Faded tans and ground in blacks gave away the age of this old construction as it leaned precariously to one side. Childhood memories danced around the swings that gently swayed in the slight breeze. Next to them prevailed the crux of a thousand make believe adventures; a two-story wooden fortress, seemingly impenetrable from the eyes of a child.
Underneath the fort, an almost emptied sandbox bore the scars of a dog that loved to dig. Extending from the upper level, a slick slide stretched to touch the ground, providing the means of an escape route for the avenging pirates that played there. A faded home-made flag set atop a fireman’s pole marked the limitless territory. Slowly, a thick tire swing turned in circles as its rusted chains creaked from summers of never-ending fun. Where once stood a glorious kingdom for the imagination, only the memories of it remained, like the ruins of a forgotten castle; a story existing for every ancient plank.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Teaching Fish to Fly
Have you ever seen that commercial for [I think] sea world? It starts out with a whale jumping in and out of the water. Suddenly, he jumps, but this time he doesn't return to the water. He goes higher and higher and starts flying. He travel around the whole world before going back. Now, I know, a whale is not a fish despite what many people think... but bear with me here.
Before I go on, and for those of you who don't know this about me- I want to explain something about myself. Ever since I was little, God would speak to me through pictures. He'd show me meaning in the things around me. Sometimes a picture-that I couldn't come up with on my own- would form in my imagination and there would be revelation behind it. Sure He talks to me in other ways, He's taught me to listen to his voice in other things, but when I REALLY need to understand something, He gives me a picture or an analogy. (I have an analogy for almost everything. lol)
Okay, now that that's been stated, I'll move on. :)
The other night I was reading the book Every Young Woman's Battle by Shanon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn. (Very good book) It discusses the issue of staying pure in a sex-filled world. But that's not what I'm talking about. After reading that book, I went to sleep with not only reasons for staying pure, but with the grasping of a concept that only God can bring because it wasn't very related to the book.
In the middle of the book, a quote from the movie Ever After, a retelling of Cinderella staring Drew Barrymore, popped into my head. Out of nowhere. In it, there's this part when Danielle [cinderella] is finally freed and has the chance of going to the ball, seeing the prince and telling him the truth. But she's not sure she should go. As her friends are trying to convince her, Danielle says to one person in particular, "A bird may love a fish senorae, but where would they live?" To this, he replies, "then we shall have to make you wings!"
It's the same way with us and Jesus. We should love him so much that we'd be willing to do anything. Even if it meant jumping out of this sweeping current and into a place where we can't even breathe. That's what He showed me- that we're supposed to be those fish that turn around and not just swim against the flow, but FLY!
If people notice the fish that swim upstream against the masses, how much more will they notice the fish that fly above it? The more we choose to be set apart and consecrated to Him, the more Jesus will shine through us.
But being set apart doesn't mean we should live by certain rules of do's and don't's, the things you can and can't do. We shouldn't have to have rules because we're so in love with Jesus. That His heart becomes our heart and we long to be so much with Him and so much like Him that everything else fades in comparison. He should be that real- so real that He's the only thing that we want, the one thing that consumes our minds and our hearts. So much so, that we'd be willing to lay down anything, our families, our friends, all the things we love and even our lives just to pursue Him.
But we can't do it on our own.
That's the greatest part- That if we willing to try, willing to lay it all down and have readied our hearts, He'll help us. The Holy Spirit will come along to show and guide us.
He'll teach the Fish to Fly.
Before I go on, and for those of you who don't know this about me- I want to explain something about myself. Ever since I was little, God would speak to me through pictures. He'd show me meaning in the things around me. Sometimes a picture-that I couldn't come up with on my own- would form in my imagination and there would be revelation behind it. Sure He talks to me in other ways, He's taught me to listen to his voice in other things, but when I REALLY need to understand something, He gives me a picture or an analogy. (I have an analogy for almost everything. lol)
Okay, now that that's been stated, I'll move on. :)
The other night I was reading the book Every Young Woman's Battle by Shanon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn. (Very good book) It discusses the issue of staying pure in a sex-filled world. But that's not what I'm talking about. After reading that book, I went to sleep with not only reasons for staying pure, but with the grasping of a concept that only God can bring because it wasn't very related to the book.
In the middle of the book, a quote from the movie Ever After, a retelling of Cinderella staring Drew Barrymore, popped into my head. Out of nowhere. In it, there's this part when Danielle [cinderella] is finally freed and has the chance of going to the ball, seeing the prince and telling him the truth. But she's not sure she should go. As her friends are trying to convince her, Danielle says to one person in particular, "A bird may love a fish senorae, but where would they live?" To this, he replies, "then we shall have to make you wings!"
It's the same way with us and Jesus. We should love him so much that we'd be willing to do anything. Even if it meant jumping out of this sweeping current and into a place where we can't even breathe. That's what He showed me- that we're supposed to be those fish that turn around and not just swim against the flow, but FLY!
If people notice the fish that swim upstream against the masses, how much more will they notice the fish that fly above it? The more we choose to be set apart and consecrated to Him, the more Jesus will shine through us.
But being set apart doesn't mean we should live by certain rules of do's and don't's, the things you can and can't do. We shouldn't have to have rules because we're so in love with Jesus. That His heart becomes our heart and we long to be so much with Him and so much like Him that everything else fades in comparison. He should be that real- so real that He's the only thing that we want, the one thing that consumes our minds and our hearts. So much so, that we'd be willing to lay down anything, our families, our friends, all the things we love and even our lives just to pursue Him.
But we can't do it on our own.
That's the greatest part- That if we willing to try, willing to lay it all down and have readied our hearts, He'll help us. The Holy Spirit will come along to show and guide us.
He'll teach the Fish to Fly.
A Paradox of Personalities
Just recently I've started discovering who I truly am. And the Julia I find doesn't bother me as much as I thought she would. So many times I've thought I was one kind of person only to think later that I was just the opposite and it bothered me. But what I've realized is that I'm not just one type of person - I'm a bunch of types... a paradox really.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm a bipolar emotional mess, going from one extreme to the other, even though sometimes it seems that way :). But more so, that deep down, I'm a complex person. You see, I've always thought I was a very simple person- It's the simple things that make me smile, laugh, love, be angry or sad, and I like that. But aren't the most complex things really made up of simple things? Maybe all those small things added together, intricately connected make me, me.
I probably contradict myself, a lot. But I think that's just who I am. Not bad contradicting either, just opposites. I don't want to be afraid to be different... not just different in one way, but every way. Some days I want to be quiet. Other days I want to be outgoing. Sometimes I want to be a leader, other days, a follower. I like to be cool at some times and a complete dork at others. I just want to be me. I don't want to be stereotyped, by anyone. I don't want people to expect me to be just one way, because I don't think I can. Not if I really want to be all that Jesus has called me to be.
There are so many different sides to my personality. I don't think I've let many people see them all either. I’m not sure. I think I’ve been afraid. Afraid that if I was truly me, people wouldn't like me. Maybe it was the fear of false expectations. Of thinking that people expected be to be a certain person. But really, my family and friends have only encouraged me to just be me. I'm sorry guys. For not being all that I thought I could.
Now, after I’ve said all that, there are two things in particular that God has recently taught me through all of this.
The first thing Jesus is showing me, is that it’s okay to be a paradox because isn’t Jesus like that? He’s a warrior and a peacemaker, a teacher and a listener, a judge and a friend. He brings beautiful from ugly and good from bad. He asks us to be broken, because that’s when we’re whole. If that’s not contradictory, I don’t know what is.
Second, He’s is showing me that it doesn't matter what other people think. He delights in me. In who I am- the Julia deep down inside me. He's showing me that it's okay to be different, to just be me. No matter what that different looks like or what people think of it. As long as it honors Him and points people to Jesus.
That’s what it all really boils down too. If I be the person that God created me to be- contradictions and all, keeping Jesus as my center, I’ll point people to Jesus.
That’s the wonder of it all, because people are often afraid to be people. Humanity is stripped away when everyone tries to be like everyone. Maybe just being me will let others see the Jesus in me since He’s the one who gave me that freedom. If I live my life only worrying about pleasing God, I’m living in reckless abandon. Shining like a city on a hill. Just being Jesus.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm a bipolar emotional mess, going from one extreme to the other, even though sometimes it seems that way :). But more so, that deep down, I'm a complex person. You see, I've always thought I was a very simple person- It's the simple things that make me smile, laugh, love, be angry or sad, and I like that. But aren't the most complex things really made up of simple things? Maybe all those small things added together, intricately connected make me, me.
I probably contradict myself, a lot. But I think that's just who I am. Not bad contradicting either, just opposites. I don't want to be afraid to be different... not just different in one way, but every way. Some days I want to be quiet. Other days I want to be outgoing. Sometimes I want to be a leader, other days, a follower. I like to be cool at some times and a complete dork at others. I just want to be me. I don't want to be stereotyped, by anyone. I don't want people to expect me to be just one way, because I don't think I can. Not if I really want to be all that Jesus has called me to be.
There are so many different sides to my personality. I don't think I've let many people see them all either. I’m not sure. I think I’ve been afraid. Afraid that if I was truly me, people wouldn't like me. Maybe it was the fear of false expectations. Of thinking that people expected be to be a certain person. But really, my family and friends have only encouraged me to just be me. I'm sorry guys. For not being all that I thought I could.
Now, after I’ve said all that, there are two things in particular that God has recently taught me through all of this.
The first thing Jesus is showing me, is that it’s okay to be a paradox because isn’t Jesus like that? He’s a warrior and a peacemaker, a teacher and a listener, a judge and a friend. He brings beautiful from ugly and good from bad. He asks us to be broken, because that’s when we’re whole. If that’s not contradictory, I don’t know what is.
Second, He’s is showing me that it doesn't matter what other people think. He delights in me. In who I am- the Julia deep down inside me. He's showing me that it's okay to be different, to just be me. No matter what that different looks like or what people think of it. As long as it honors Him and points people to Jesus.
That’s what it all really boils down too. If I be the person that God created me to be- contradictions and all, keeping Jesus as my center, I’ll point people to Jesus.
That’s the wonder of it all, because people are often afraid to be people. Humanity is stripped away when everyone tries to be like everyone. Maybe just being me will let others see the Jesus in me since He’s the one who gave me that freedom. If I live my life only worrying about pleasing God, I’m living in reckless abandon. Shining like a city on a hill. Just being Jesus.
Blindsided By Jesus... Again
Ok, so the other night I was talking to Jesus, the conversation goes something like as what follows:
That's when it hit me. Those seven little words slammed into me like a Mack truck. "I'm not expecting you to be perfect".
I can't even begin to explain the freedom in those seven words.
I've always struggled with pride. Not the 'I'm better than you' type of pride, but the pride that won't let me forgive myself or even let myself mess up. It's terrible, I know, but It's one of those "thorns of the flesh" that Paul talks about.
This one happens to be mine.
That's why that one sentence just dripped with life. "I'm not expecting you to be perfect". So much more was spoken behind it, things I can hardly put into words.
I'm not going to explain a lot here, I'm not even going to tell you much of what it meant to me. Other than freedom. Usually I like to explain the things Jesus shows me, but this time Jesus told me not too. I don't even think I have the words to articulate what I feel. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, I just hope that whoever happens to read this, whoever you are, that Jesus would speak to you through it.
Love you all :)
~Julia
Me- Good evening Jesus (I didn't want to say good night so... lol)
Jesus- Good morning.
Me- Good morning?!
Jesus- Well, where I am it's morning.
Me- Aren't you here with me??
Jesus- Yes I suppose I am, so I guess it is 'Good evening'... I could make it morning though! (He totally sounded like a little kid asking for candy, lol)
Me- No, that's okay, I'd be a grouch all day long...
Jesus- Oh. Ok...
*laughing*
Me- Anyways, I missed you.
Jesus- Why'd you miss me? I was with you all day long.
Me- Yah, I guess so, but I mean like right now, just you and me talking so easily. But I guess it could be like that all day long. No, it SHOULD be. Oh, I'm sorry Jesus, I'm not trying hard enough. I'll try and do better. I'm really sorry-
Jesus- Shhhh. It's okay, you don't need to be sorry- I'm not expecting you to be perfect.
That's when it hit me. Those seven little words slammed into me like a Mack truck. "I'm not expecting you to be perfect".
I can't even begin to explain the freedom in those seven words.
I've always struggled with pride. Not the 'I'm better than you' type of pride, but the pride that won't let me forgive myself or even let myself mess up. It's terrible, I know, but It's one of those "thorns of the flesh" that Paul talks about.
This one happens to be mine.
That's why that one sentence just dripped with life. "I'm not expecting you to be perfect". So much more was spoken behind it, things I can hardly put into words.
I'm not going to explain a lot here, I'm not even going to tell you much of what it meant to me. Other than freedom. Usually I like to explain the things Jesus shows me, but this time Jesus told me not too. I don't even think I have the words to articulate what I feel. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, I just hope that whoever happens to read this, whoever you are, that Jesus would speak to you through it.
Love you all :)
~Julia
New Beginnings and Old Dreams
Okay, So I'm just getting started here, and hopefully- eventually, there might be more to read.
I'll probably post the few things I've written already, some of which are on Facebook. But I'm going to go take a nap first.
Oh and my first post was an English assignment- I hope to put up a picture of the actual swing set, but currently, our camera's are out of juice...
Love ya'll!
~Julia
I'll probably post the few things I've written already, some of which are on Facebook. But I'm going to go take a nap first.
Oh and my first post was an English assignment- I hope to put up a picture of the actual swing set, but currently, our camera's are out of juice...
Love ya'll!
~Julia
Friday, April 17, 2009
A World of Imaginary Wonders
Dilapidated and weather-worn, an aged swing-set sat lifelessly in the center of a tattered yard. The passing years left their mark. Faded tans and ground in blacks gave away the age of this old construction as it leaned precariously to one side. Childhood memories danced around the swings that gently swayed in the slight breeze. Next to them prevailed the crux of a thousand make believe adventures; a two-story wooden fortress, seemingly impenetrable from the eyes of a child.
Underneath the fort, an almost emptied sandbox bore the scars of a dog that loved to dig. Extending from the upper level, a slick slide stretched to touch the ground, providing the means of an escape route for the avenging pirates that played there. A faded home-made flag set atop a fireman’s pole marked the limitless territory. Slowly, a thick tire swing turned in circles as its rusted chains creaked from summers of never-ending fun. Where once stood a glorious kingdom for the imagination, only the memories of it remained, like the ruins of an ancient castle; a story existing for every ancient plank.
Underneath the fort, an almost emptied sandbox bore the scars of a dog that loved to dig. Extending from the upper level, a slick slide stretched to touch the ground, providing the means of an escape route for the avenging pirates that played there. A faded home-made flag set atop a fireman’s pole marked the limitless territory. Slowly, a thick tire swing turned in circles as its rusted chains creaked from summers of never-ending fun. Where once stood a glorious kingdom for the imagination, only the memories of it remained, like the ruins of an ancient castle; a story existing for every ancient plank.
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