Gosh, some days I really love Bible class. Days like today. Where all the events and thoughts leading up to now, finally come into focus, and everything suddenly makes sense. Well, almost totally makes sense.
I can't believe it's already been a month since I blogged last. I was blogging several times a week! But I blinked, and now it's mid-November and my last post was weeks ago.
It's been a crazy month though. A cycle of busy routine, and monotonous weekly patterns. I mean, sure, between a couple jobs, going to school every day, trying to accomplish a million and half things, plus remembering to eat and sleep AND care about people, It would make sense that I was starting to get a little frazzled.
But it didn't.
Although, after today, things are finally starting to click. I lost sight of the Prize. I wasn't seeing Jesus. I forgot:
"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."
-Romans 8:26-28, The Message.
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you."
-Isaiah 43, NIV
I've been feeling quite out of my own self, like an animal skin being stretched across a peg board. Except I was only watching it happen, in a sort of connected way.
But as we talked today, Jesus really hit me. (Again. I mean, He totally messed me up this morning, but I'll blog about that another time.) I was reminded of the things that really make me who I am, and the things that define my life. Not how quickly I can make a latte, or perfect my plie is, or if my homework is done exactly right. Not how people think about me, or how I relate to every person I meet.
Because if I just be Jesus in those things, the excellence and the right response will follow.
Yet, in that, it's the things like spiritual authority, having a warrior's heart, dancing out my prayers, and believing the unseen, that define my world.
After a season of just getting through, it's so good to come home.
