wondering

I've been doing a lot of wondering lately. (No surprise there, haha) Along the same general theme, that pretty much all my thoughts seem to follow.

I wonder often about my future. Especially just next year. I wonder about my jobs. I wonder about dance. I wonder about my family and friends. I wonder about my music and about a million other things.

But I think, maybe, I've been wondering about the wrong things. More over, I think I might be applying the wrong definition of "wonder".

If you look up wonder, the first, and most often applied definition is, "to think or speculate curiously." But the second definition is, "to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel."

"And if I have to crawl
Will you crawl too? I stumble and I fall
Carry me through
The wonder of it all
Is You
See me through"

I heard this song by Superchick the other day, and it was just enough to make me think. Where she sings "The wonder of it all, is You", once again, revelation smacked me upside the head like Sara's dog runs into their glass door.

I've been focusing on the wrong aspects of everything. Worrying more than hoping. I took Jesus out of the equation again. I can wonder about it all, but in that wondering, it should be more of an expective wondering.

But more than that, I need to keep "wondering" about Jesus. To not forget that he holds all my dreams, my fears, everything, just in the palm of his hand. He's got everything figured out. And because He loves me, it's going to turn out great. No matter how uncertain things look.

[He's amazing.]

And that's where my wondering should be.